Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Dude Code

This is nothing new. It has been in existence for centuries now. Some of it in writing and most otherwise. Some of these codes have already been discussed elsewhere where as some are new. This is a recompilation with a special Commandment addendum.

Dude Code
:
  1. A dude shall always abide by the Dude-Code (A primer)
  2. A dude's sister, mother, girlfriend, Ex-girlfriend or brother are strictly off limits no matter how hot they might be
  3. Dudes don't buy birthday presents. Infact even remembering a dude's birthday is a sin. However they are entitled to a B'day bash at the pub.
  4. A dude shall at all times say "Yes"
  5. A dude shall at all times alert another dude of the presence of hot chicks (Clocking is the preferred mode)
  6. A dude is intentionally or unintentionally forbidden from touching another dude in ANY capacity, including but not limited to: High-five, fist bump or the congratulatory pat
  7. A dude shall, at no time comment upon another dude's attire
  8. When questioned by a dude's girlfriend, you need not and should not provide any information as to his whereabouts. You rather deny that you ever knew him in the first place
  9. A dude shall always reciprocate a round of drinks with another dude
  10. A dude does not like to be talked at while in the urinal. An almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
  11. When in the urinal a dude is expected to move into the geographically farthest urinal from another dude
  12. In cases of break-up, A dude can only offer a "that sucks dude" and/or copious quantity of beer. Any other comment about the above mentioned break-up is strictly forbidden
  13. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a dude's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable
  14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
  15. A dude never needs to hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
  16. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
  17. Whenever a dude is in an ethical dilemma, HE SHALL ABIDE BY THE CODE NO.1
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Dude commandments are those that are unavoidable no matter what. This is still in the compilation phase and any other commandments are sincerely welcome.

Dude Commandments:
  1. No matter how much you shake, the last drop always goes down the pants.
  2. Gravity always takes toll on dudes' eyes when speaking to those of the opposite sex.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

hehe, nice one dude!!

Unknown said...

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Dips said...

that was really funny ''dude code''...I was just laughing the whole time..